Navigating The Festive Period When It Can Feel Overwhelming
For so, so many of us the upcoming festive period isn’t a time of joy infact it’s the complete opposite and it can be incredibly difficult time to navigate mentally as it's a season that comes with its own different set of stresses. The online world can feel particularly overwhelming at this time of year, we feel like we have to be constantly full of joy and if you’re not then obviously you’re a scrooge but we must make room for the people who do struggle with this time of year and give them the support we need.
it’s ok not to love christmas
Christmas for so many means a lot of beautiful gifts, food, drink, and family gathering but for so many, it’s not like that. It can be an incredibly isolating time for people and they feel more alone than ever subsequently feeling a strain on their mental health more than ever. Ideally, it would be a time of love and joy for everyone but that is far from the reality of what the day looks like for everyone. But as soon as you say that you’re not a big fan of nearly everyone’s favourite holiday than you’re labelled as a scrooge and miserable and that’s awful, and it's even more damaging to the person who more than likely just needs a little bit of support. Personally, I do find Christmas a difficult time and it’s been that way ever since my mum passed away as it's an occasion that only amplifies that she’s gone. Most people feel the strain of grief even more than they do all year round.
put in boundaries to protect your emotions
Something that I’ve learnt a lot about in the past few years is putting boundaries in place to protect yourself and your mental health. Doing this is something we all probably know that we should do deep down but knowing you need to do something and then actually taking action on it are two very different things. This is the time of year that I find these boundaries especially important because there are so many things in play that typically aren’t all year round. This is what my boundaries look like right now;
Saying no to projects that will leave me with absolutely no free time.
Making time for the things that are really beneficial to me.
Saying no to social occasions when they’re not going to bring me any joy.
Giving myself proper time off over the festive period.
Not feeling guilty about saying no to things.
Celebrating the way I actually want to (typically in a blanket with a book) instead of the way I think I need to.
the financial side of things
This time of year can be incredibly expensive, you can spend thousands and thousands on gifts if you so please and that’s great if you have the funds to be able to do that without getting into debt. For so many having giant mountains of presents and the best food spread around isn’t something that is obtainable but the pressure to have that is something I’m sure we can all probably relate to. If we aren’t able to buy a loved one a present the guilt is awful, we feel like it means that we don’t care but there are so many things we can do at Christmas that don’t involve spending a lot of money and if people don’t understand that then they’re probably not the person you want to spending money on anyway. Christmas is a day built on gathering your loved ones together, it never used to be about who could spend the most money but that message seems to get lost but it’s what we need to remember when that awful pressure keeps on creeping in. Not only is the festive period one of the most expensive times of the year for everyone but if you’re self employed you’ve probably got the worry of paying your tax bill. Even when you’ve got the money put aside it can still be seriously stressful and loom over you in the upcoming weeks.
not drinking alcohol
It’s been close to 10 years ago that alcohol stopped being a part of my life and it’s not something that I ever miss, infact it’s probably been the best decisions that I’ve ever made for a multitude of reasons. Even though it’s a decision that I’m really comfortable with it’s still something that when the festive period rolls around I feel like I need to justify and explain why I don’t drink and feeling like that isn’t nice. Whenever you decide something that goes against the norms of society it can always feel a little weird when it’s something that everyone else seems to do and you’re the odd one out. There is often a lot of pressure from others too if you're not drinking, people often feel the need to try and convince or even trick you into having alcohol which can be so difficult to navigate. And far too often not drinking can be misconstrued as boring or even snobbery which is just ridiculous. We all get joy from different things in life and for me I know I'd always prefer a night in with my dogs than going out and drinking but for so many, that's what they really enjoy and that's ok.
