Let's Talk: Coming Off The Pill After 15 Years
Let’s Talk: coming off the pill after 15 years
A big decision that I finally made this month is to come off the pill after 15 years of being on it. It’s something that’s been floating around in the back of my mind for a long time but I could never quite figure out what to do or what was right for me but this month something I finally snapped and I decided that I’d had enough. Over the years, there has been a big rise in people questioning the hormones that so many of us have put in our bodies without much thought to it which is brilliant as there needs to be more of a conversation around it. I know that when I went on the pill I didn’t question the effect it could have on me so here’s a little chat about why I’ve decided to come off it.
why?
As I said, I’ve been on the contraceptive pill for 15 years and during that time I’ve been a few different types until I found one that generally seemed to suit me well. Which was the Cilest pill, however, the big downside to it was that every month when I would start taking it again after my 7 days break is that I would always throw up quite severely and felt pretty rotten for that first day but other than that I was fine. My skin was clear and my periods were short and the pain was manageable which is a far cry from what they once were. My periods as a teen were awful, they made me extremely ill and they were horribly painful and being on the pill undeniably gave me some relief from them. When I was 21 I decided to try the contraceptive implant and come away from the pill but that wasn’t something that worked for me at all, it really affected my mood and I felt extremely low mentally whilst also suffering from constantly bleeding. I managed 8 months on it before begging my GP to remove it and I went back onto the pill.
For a long time, apart from the sickness on the first day after my break, I felt fine being back on the Cilest pill but never did I once question the effect it was having on my mental health. For the entirety of my twenties I’ve struggled mentally, there are odd patches of clarity but in general, that’s been a constant cloud over my mind and it’s gradually become unmanageable. Having been on some sort of hormone-based contraception for 15 years, which is half of my life it’s left me wondering how I actually feel without it. Not knowing whether or not those hormones are having a negative effect on my mental health has been my biggest push to take all the extra hormones out of my body. I want to know my body and my natural cycle, of course, I’ve got my worries that my periods might become severe again or that my skin will be a total mess but I can’t live in constant worry of something that might not ever happen.
the conversation around being hormone free
I put up an Instagram story without really thinking that there would be much of a response about coming off the pill but I was absolutely overwhelmed with how man people got in touch. So many people shared their journey to getting to know their natural cycle and coming away hormone-based contraception. The general answer is that for so many it’s the best thing that they’ve ever done and they're so much happier. However, there were some that have been a lot better on the pill and I think as much as this post is about coming away hormones it’s not ok to say that it’s the right choice for everyone because it isn’t. One of the best pieces of advice that I got from others was to download a period tracking app and to also log my moods and generally how I felt which is already something that I do through my FitBit. Opening up the conversation around the pill felt really good to do, it was so comforting to hear from others about their own journey whether it was for the best or not.
how I feel right now
With everything that’s going on in the world right now it’s fair to say I’m really anxious and scared about what is happening so for that reason it’s hard to judge how I feel mentally. However, over a week off the pill, there are some things I’ve noticed (I am going to write another follow up 3-6 months in but I wanted to have an initial conversation about it). One of the biggest ones is that I’ve lost weight, not something that I ever expected. I no longer feel anywhere so bloated as I once did which has been a really good thing for me. As I have a chronic bowel disease bloating is something that I will always have to deal with but it’s not so severe right now so I can’t help but wonder if my pill was irritating my stomach even further. My skin has still remained how it was whilst on the pill apart from one spot that came and quickly went away. I’m heavily invested in my skincare routine now but there are some dietary and lifestyles that I could make in order to help my skin further. Apart from the obvious anxiety surrounding my job and the impact Coronavirus is having on the world I do feel a lot lighter mentally. The brain fog isn’t anywhere near as bad and I feel a lot more hopeful and my moods aren’t as extreme as they once felt either.
