The Fear Of Being Yourself
The fear of being your true self around others is terrifying. I think most of us will admit that when we first meet someone new we all put on a facade. You only get one first impression so you want it to be a good one. Even with people who I've known for years I still don't feel 100% comfortable to be my true self, a fear we probably all face because we don't want to be judged.
Having an online presence means you're opening yourself up to an unlimited number of people, even though I can see my analytics on a screen I don't know who is exactly who is looking at what I'm doing. So again, a facade is put up. Some might say this is being dishonest, but I believe it's only natural, I only want to put out the best version of myself, who doesn't? I'm still being myself, of course, I'm not a completely different person online, but there are somethings that you can't portray online or want to.
Being your true self is scary around anyone. Personally it takes me a long time to take down my walls and let myself just be with somebody. The first sign for me being comfortable around anybody is being able to sit in silence and it's not weird or awkward, comfortable silences are the best. I think the fear of somebody judging or thinking badly is something that none of us want to deal with and it's inevitably going to occur at some point in life.
Not everybody can like us and that's ok because we can't possibly like everyone that comes into our life either. Sometimes when people don't like you, especially online they have no problem of making it apparent and can be just downright vile. I don't believe in being so openly horrible to others, even if I dislike them, there is just no need to make that person feel bad for no viable reason. Unless someone has gone out their way to be really awful, personalities are always going to clash and that's normal.
There are plenty of elements of my personality that I would love to be able to put across on my blog, but it's not easy. I'm an incredibly sarcastic dry witted person and sometimes that can come across as rude in the written word. My best friends, boyfriend and family all know this is just who I am, but it's not as easy trait get used to. Like I said it can come across as cold. Being a quite guarded person too can come across in a similar way, I've got a huge heart but I'm cautious of who I let see that and then it takes a long time for me to feel comfortable enough to let my barriers down. Vulnerability is something that terrifies me, I don't like to rely on anybody but myself.
Of course, then there is the natural fact that we're all a little bit weird. We all have those funny little traits, the things that make us unique. Without those mannerisms then what would ever make us stand out? Those are the things that we should celebrate and not shy away from showing to other. If people think you're strange then they're not the type of person you want to be around. I've always found those traits can often draw people in rather than push them away. Freya from the beautiful blog Nishaantishu shared some of her unique traits in this awesome post.
I'd love to know your thoughts on this
R x
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