Let's Talk: Creatively Lulls In Lockdown
Let's Talk: Creatively Lulls In Lockdown
Hi, Hello? Remember me? Whilst, I know I don’t *have* to apologise for not posting anything I want to as I truly didn’t mean to be so quiet on the blog front or on the internet in general, to be honest. When lockdown in the UK was announced I thought it would be a time where I would get back into the swing of things with blogging and truthfully it’s been the complete opposite. And it’s not been through lack of passion, every time I’ve sat down at my laptop and opened up a post to start writing the words have left my brain every single time and wandered over to worrying about other things which leads me onto the topic of this post…
surviving & not thriving during a global pandemic
When the lockdown was announced I truly thought as I wouldn’t be going anywhere but to walk Josie and Edie that I would able to solely focus on my blog but the reality of that has been far different. Sitting down and writing posts about frivolous things just didn’t feel right or appropriate when there were thousands of people dying and people were losing their jobs daily. There was so much uncertainty around my line of work as well, I lost jobs that had been in the works for months but then I also picked up things in other areas that filled my time which I’m unbelievably grateful for but it was undeniably a worrying time financially. Every single day I sat and waited for the government to make their daily briefings to see what had been happening and it naturally bought a lot of panic to my day and if there is one thing that the creative side of my brain doesn’t respond to well it’s worrying and panic. Every time I’d go online it felt like everyone was doing so many amazing things and I’d just been sat on the sofa worrying, but that’s the thing with social media no-one is probably sharing their worried and anxious thoughts. Whilst the term on unprecedented times has been thrown around so much it’s almost become a little bit of meme, this is exactly what this time is. No one knows truly how we’re supposed to be reacting to the current situation because no one has ever lived through something like this before. It’s taken me far too long to come to terms with this, it really is ok that the creative side of my brain hasn’t been functioning as it usually does. I hate that there has been the pressure to be insanely productive during such a scary time when for some just getting through each day has been enough.
getting ready to return to a new normal
NNow that lockdown is slowly starting to lift in the UK (whether I agree with some of the government's decisions or not) it means things are slowly starting to go back to some sense of normality, whatever that means. For me, my life didn’t change a drastic amount but there were so many things that I missed like going to see my family, dog walks with my best friend, and having a little wander around Tesco when the mood struck. There are a lot of things that I’ll take from this time and whilst it fuelled me with anxiety and worry it also provided me with a lot of clarity of what I’d like my life and my work life to look like and how I can make changes going forward. I truly don’t believe anyone’s life will look the exact same way it did before lockdown and part of me thinks that is for the best, there were so many unhealthy expectations placed onto us that were incredibly hard to keep.
what life looks like right now; personal & work
Life is certainly a lot slower than it ever has been before and it’s a good thing, I’ve finally done so many things that I usually put off due to not having enough time and energy. I feel so much more organised within work as well as my personal life (although I’ve still managed to put off doing my tax return early) and that constant sense of overwhelm is slowly fading. Day to day life isn’t all that different, my work is a little different of course but other than that the things that I do every day aren’t. I’m currently working on bringing a little more structure to my work day and planning my weeks a little better now I have a better grasp of what I’m doing. My brain loves structure and routine so I need to make sure it’s something that I’m keeping on top of as no one else does it for you when you work for yourself. There are some changes I want to make business wise and I’m excited to make those changes, there things that I’’re things that I’ve wanted to do for a while but always been a little nervous about implementing but if I don’t do it now, then when?
As well as lockdown bringing changes to my work life there's also been some changes to my personal life. The biggest one has been postponing our wedding, something that I knew as soon as the lockdown was announced would more than likely happen, and last week we officially moved everything to 2021. It is undeniably upsetting but the safety of us and our loved ones is so much more important. Whilst as of right now you’re allowed to get married in the UK with a party of up to 30 (our wedding party is around 26), you’re not allowed to celebrate your wedding and there, of course, has to be social distancing measures in place. Which means if we were to get married on our original date my dad wouldn’t be able to walk me down the aisle which is so important for my dad and I. Our venue is pretty intimate which doesn’t allow for safely social distancing and the thought of not getting to hug any of my loved ones on my wedding day isn’t something I want let alone the logistics of trying to take any pictures. Whilst moving our day and saying goodbye to a date we loved undeniably sucks, it’s also been a weight off my mind too as I feel like even if there is a second spike in Covid cases we still have a lot more chance of getting married on our new date than if we’d kept the old one.
