What It's Really Like Being An Anxious Driver

Ever since I passed my driving test back in April of this year I've not been scared to share that I'm a pretty anxious driver. Learning to drive was without a doubt one of the most difficult and stressful times of my life. When I knew I had a lesson the anxiety would kick in days before and then when that hour was finally over I'd be so exhausted from being so incredibly anxious it completely ruined the lesson for me. Even though the lessons were never bad and I liked my instructor I just hated learning to drive and I know that I'm not the only one who has had this experience. And as I've been driving on my own since May I thought I'd talk about what it's really like to drive when you're super anxious to step in the car.

IF YOU'VE PASSED YOUR TEST YOU'RE CAPABLE OF DRIVING

The day that I stepped in the car by myself completely alone I was terrified and my mind started to race. It had only been less than a month since I'd passed my test but I started to panic and all these thoughts started to run through my head like what if I don't know how to drive anymore? What do I do in certain situations? What do I do if I break down? How am I ever going to park? How do I change gear again? And all of these really silly irrational thoughts were things that got in my brain and didn't leave. The funny thing is I know how to drive, I'd passed my test and it's not easy to get through your test and you don't unless the examiner can see that you're a competent driver able to handle a car by yourself. I'm not sure about anybody else but the moment that I start to convince myself I can't do something then I can't do it. And the moment I tell myself that I can then I perform so much better, not perfectly but much better than when I'm telling myself that I can't. It's hard to talk yourself down when you're fretting so much but it can work if you let it.

DON'T LET OTHER PEOPLE RUIN IT FOR YOU

Everyone has an opinion when it comes to driving about what you should and shouldn't be doing. And so often they have the best of intentions but it can so easily come across as patronising especially when you've only just passed and they might have been driving for years and had a lot of experience. If there is ever a time to listen to your gut and trust yourself it's when you're driving by yourself, because you're the one in charge of that vehicle and you know what you feel comfortable with doing. As well as not taking other people's experiences on board too much [it's helpful to listen of course but everyone has different ways of doing something] never let other people ruin being on the road for you. We all know that there are some really bad drivers out there and I've had some awful experiences in the last few months, mostly do with merging [I must shout IT'S LIKE A ZIP at least once a day when driving]. And it's all too easy to let those instances get your head and it's so easy for it to stop you from getting in the car sometimes. But the more you do it then the more confident you will become over time and those situations won't get to you so much.

GETTING USED TO A DIFFERENT CAR IS REALLY HARD

For the majority of people, they learn to drive in a brand new car and then unless you're incredibly fortunate the car you'll actually be driving is well over a year old. One of the things that made my anxiety a thousand times worse was getting used to a different car, a car that didn't have parking sensors or hill assist and was a completely different engine. For a lot of people in the UK we learn in a diesel and then you might switch to a petrol, it's unbelievable the difference in the two. Getting used to not only how a different car drives but the clutch, the breaks, the handbrake and even the controls on the dashboard. And it takes a while and it feels like you're starting from scratch but it doesn't take too long to get used to things.

CONFIDENCE DOES COME

Having always felt a lot of anxiety around driving I never thought I'd see the day where I actually felt confident when stepping into the car. For so long every time I would drive to the gym or even just to Tesco I would start to sweat as soon as I got in the car and let's not even talk about when trying to reverse into a very tricky drive. But now that confidence has finally started to kick in and driving almost feels completely normal to me, of course, I'm still learning. And I think it's something you constantly learn from but I don't start to sweat every time I get in the car or panic when I have to park. And it gets easier each time you drive, when I first started out I would put off going anywhere because I was so nervous but the more I forced myself to do it the easier it became. It's not easy when you're super anxious about driving and it's really easy for me to say this but trust me I've been there.

THE FEAR OF MAKING A MISTAKE

Even if you drive for a living chances are you aren't perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect driver. Of course, we all strive to be a good safe driver but people make mistakes. Something that plagues my driving experience even to this day is trying to make sure I'm doing everything right like am I being thoughtful of other people on the road? Am I driving to the speed limit? Am I concentrating on every single thing going on around me? And it's hard to keep track of everything and be aware of absolutely everything going on. I can't even begin to tell you how much I've worried myself sick over panicking about things like have I gone over the speed limit? Have I gone through a red light? And maybe this is something that will fade with time or maybe it's something that will stick with me for my entire driving experience because I am a human that overthinks and panics a lot and that is just who I am. The fear of making a mistake and maybe even losing my license [seriously, what am I doing to do that?] is something that haunts me on a daily basis. And yes, it's kind of embarrassing to admit how much it worries me but I know even if this is something that helps just one person then it's worth talking about it.

NOT LETTING PEOPLE BULLY YOU ON THE ROAD

I'm sure we're all too aware that there are some people on the roads who aren't very nice. And I want to be as far away as possible from them when I'm driving, but sometimes you just have to deal with them. Standing up for road position and not letting people bully you is something I've realised is so important. And when you're already anxious about driving it makes the experience even scarier but no-one has the right to scare you on the road. In the past week, I've seen people do some incredibly dangerous things to get around me because I was driving the speed limit. And this is something that I've noticed ever since I passed my test people seem to get really annoyed when you drive the speed limit. I mean it's obvious why it's there and yes it's incredibly frustrating when there are no signs to show you what the speed limit is but it's there for a reason. It's not ok to be aggressive to somebody or drive super close to them hoping they will just speed up and I'm sure we've probably all been in that position where someone is making us feel uncomfortable and you just have to keep on going as hard as it is, you're in the right.

AND SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T LIKE DRIVING

Before I passed my test and people used to tell me that they hated driving I never quite understood it. Surely it's one of the best feelings ever to be able to get in your car and go wherever you please [fuel permitting of course]? But so many really don't enjoy driving and totally normal. But it's something that we all have to do really unless you live somewhere with really awesome public transport. Whenever I've written posts like this in the past so many people always get in touch and say they're too terrified to start learning to drive and it's not something that's spoken about enough. It can be such a distressing experience and be so emotionally taxing but you're not the only one who feels like that. It doesn't mean you're a bad driver at all or that you're not meant to be on the road it's just a different thing for you.